Showing posts from June, 2017


a first time walking back home from university on a late cold night. missed the last bus because of debriefing after a late event. i was the last to leave. and alone. holding a emoji-like cardboard box. sleepyhead in mind. i walk back home on a misty ghostly night. distance was okay. a straight line road and a small hill to climb. the road was unusually quiet. such a weird "surprise". playing my phone and replying chats with different types of emoji as i walk. yet i kept a emotionless expression. there was a man standing under the only lamppost ahead. back facing towards me. i walk past the man. he stopped me. and said, "young man, is the box smiling or no?". i said, "it's a grimace emoji.". i can't see his face despite standing under the lamppost. but i didn't bother further. then he said, "so is it smiling?". i looked down at my phone. the grimace emoji is smiling. so i said, "yes?". then he said while smiling. "yes…


he's in love with your light. blinded by the light and hurt by your light. he gained false hope by the shining light. went for the bulb. and suicide. she think she has nothing to do with her light. unintended. and never meant to attract with her light. she never knew.  there was a switch to close the light. to stop the false hope. to prevent a broken heart. to stop unintended love story. "or you never wanted it to end, nor start?" maybe she didn't love the start nor the end, only the middle. maybe he love her everything, but in vain. maybe  when tried turns tired he will close the switch himself. and live again.
"to stop giving false hopes and prolong rejection"

By J


initiate. finished. the cheat and the cheated. the play and the played. the game and the gamers. a life cycle. where every second needs impromptu actions. not prepared and ready. a blur journey. how many times we are dead. inside. outside. sanguine and play again. defeatist and play again. if life is a game. a pre-programmed game. a looping game until a certain condition. everything we see. like a visual basic. 
IF something has happened. THEN what to do. ELSE alternatives.  LOOP until death. 
"to players with impromptu actions in an pre-programmed game."
"life is not all about sunshine and rainbows" "what/when to give in and what/when to give out" "not a programmer"
amd we are Fiercely Independent .
Xoxo J.