Featured post


he's in love with your light. blinded by the light and hurt by your light. he gained false hope by the shining light. went for the bulb. and suicide. she think she has nothing to do with her light. unintended. and never meant to attract with her light. she never knew.  there was a switch to close the light. to stop the false hope. to prevent a broken heart. to stop unintended love story. "or you never wanted it to end, nor start?" maybe she didn't love the start nor the end, only the middle. maybe he love her everything, but in vain. maybe  when tried turns tired he will close the switch himself. and live again.
"to stop giving false hopes and prolong rejection"

By J


initiate. finished. the cheat and the cheated. the play and the played. the game and the gamers. a life cycle. where every second needs impromptu actions. not prepared and ready. a blur journey. how many times we are dead. inside. outside. sanguine and play again. defeatist and play again. if life is a game. a pre-programmed game. a looping game until a certain condition. everything we see. like a visual basic. 
IF something has happened. THEN what to do. ELSE alternatives.  LOOP until death. 
"to players with impromptu actions in an pre-programmed game."
"life is not all about sunshine and rainbows" "what/when to give in and what/when to give out" "not a programmer"
amd we are Fiercely Independent .
Xoxo J.

you are well. with that flame still igniting within. by passion and dreams. the author of my happiness. sadness. with amazing plot twist and climax. and numerous possibilities. few pages were left blank. while we stopped and questioned our journey. others writing on other's book. writing sadness with a happy face. no tears were shown. but a soaking book. protect your story. you write your own story. where wildest dreams and endings are written. with no finite. dreams are big. maybe impossible. it gives something for you to chase. with an aim. and making impossible possible. without a dream. could we be ever possible? not all of us have the talent card. nevertheless. i'm still possible.

maybe. just maybe


if you dare. to dream
"with actions and reams of paper"
"through writing your own story"

and I Wrote This For You



we are the walking tree. growing stronger. with hidden roots as base. the ability to grow on both sides. but only one side is to be seen. every one of us strife to reach the sun. high and high. we bear the risk of falling harder and harder. roots are the tree's protector. to support. to prevent us from falling. every time. life hits and hits. stronger and stronger blow. roots started to crack the ground. giving its everything until it got nothing left. but life hits just too hard. roots are exposed. and bare roots collapsed the tree. parts of yourself shall not be seen. anger. greed. immorality. we are always both the good guys and the bad guys. did we choose to hide our bad guys within? burst your roots. and you will collapse your journey reaching the sun. but these hidden parts of yourself helps you grow. to see the true sight at front. to prevent yourself from losing in the dark. it's okay to hide some part of yourself to the world. it's okay to keep secret. even if u …


bunch of homosapiens. fear from murders, crime and terrorism. a game seems like the hunter and the hunted. not hunted by criminal, murderer nor terrorist. but by words. bunch of homosapiens with the ability to kill. pushing air out through the mouth using the lips. so deathly. so easy. so easy to understand. we can't be deaf by choice. but we can be mute by choice. just like a stab. stabbing in front. or stabbing behind the back. doesn't even matter in my stand. the world is already at war. an underlying war with words. the impact is showing. depression. suicides. regret. homosapiens can be so vulnerable. killed in the midst of fear. kill me dear homosapiens. and congratulations. you killed yourself. with words. regret. trauma. don't kill me dear homosapiens. because "no offense" is not the savior of everything.
"the talkative was now mute" "death is mute" "killing your own kind"
"words that kill"

Inspiration from: Words T…


a synthetic drug. blurred mood and perception. a happy face in an angry state. replaced too many "no" with too many "yes". only to save a ship not worth saving. ridiculous request in the name of friendship. where is the sincere once there. used and used. you may not even knew. you used. need to relearn. how to say no. keep me in this trance like form. reminder for reality check. every time I burst into anger. we are never good at shaking heads and saying no. often with sad faces and guilt even when you're right. funny how people say yes to ecstasy drugs. just to shake their heads with joy in the face. little did you know. that's just how many "no" they left unsaid. in the end we became psychopath. finally. "selfish", "stingy", "egocentric" are not replied to every "no" we said.

"those witty replies"
"faces of the world"
"please don't do …

I Bear You.

I bear you with my bare hands. Daily arguments. Feelings turn sour. We are bored of each other. Why are we still together? Honeymoon was over. Our love are slowly turning into a straight line. Dead.
“Everything decays into chaos“, as stated in second law of thermodynamics. Same goes to love, are we going to tolerate the chaos happened, or we are going our separate path and start another journey into chaos?
Maybe it’s not about the present. It’s always about the memories. What we had done. What we had accomplished together with those hands we hold. To think that it would be a waste to lose all this. All of this memories.
“You’ve changed”. Everyone appears to change. It’s the law of nature to change. It follows the principle of Entropy, everything decays. “Changed by who?”, she said. Changed by you. Always.
When time goes by, where emotions are no longer to be felt. Arguments take its place to prolong a relationship as we write about our arguments in the memory book. The key to happi…

Books Recommendations by J.